Saturday, May 9, 2009

نهاية الأزهار

كانت البداية، ممتعة، كمن يعيش في الأفلام

ازهار على الطاولة و جريدة الصباح

اشتريتها للصحبة، كي تشاهدني

بصارحة، كنت وحيدة يومها

و اردت الرفقة و الشعور بأني مميزة

على الأقل في ذلك  اليوم

 

مرت الأيام، ثلاث بالتحديد

و اطفأت الأزهار نورها

و استعدت للرحيل

و أنا اليوم اشاهد بذعر

كل ورقة تقع و ترن الآذان

تقرع اجراس الوداع

 

ازهاري لم تحادثني طوال علاقتنا

و كأنها غاضبة على قراري الأوحادي

بأن نتساير و هي الطليقة الحرة التي

لم تكن تريد السجن الذهبي في قلبي

و لأنها حقودة، بدأت بالموت أمامي

تتنظر عودتي لتتساقط من قصادي

ورقة بعد الثانية

 

ازهاري تحادثني اخيرا

كلامها واضح لدرجة التجريح

و انا قد وقعت بحبها فلا هروب ولا رجعة

 الخيار الوحيد هو الانتظارحتى النهاية

علا وجدت نفسي بلا خيار

إلا ان امضي بحياتي دونها و الاستغفار

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

مراجعة حكايتي شرح يطول: Review

Review of the novel حكايتي شرح يطول 

Author:  2005 حنان الشيخ

 In her usual articulate story telling technique, Hanan il sheikh in her novel حكايتي شرح يطول, is able to tear down the stage curtains enveloping the world of literature in order to provide a vivid, situated and inescapably inviting tale. The only literary mask in this novel is Hanan's choice of 'novel' as the genre printed on the book cover as opposed to 'biography'.* Her portrayal of her mother's memoires "Kamela" will surely suck you in through the intricate depiction of Lebanon's rural landscape, the village life, the relationships in Beirut and the complexity of life for the illiterate and literate alike.  Only a few novels that I have ever read were able to break down the walls between reality and fiction and this story, with its rich contextual narrative, has been the most successful. 

At the outset, the characters are located in South Lebanon "بالنبطية" and are artistically utilized to represent a rich account of poverty, childhood and innocence. The voice in the narrative is of Hanan's mother as she experiences a forced marriage, an intense love affair with a neighbor and with the cinema, childbirth, separation, divorce, war and death. You cannot escape being invited into Kamela's family and community as it stands united and divided by class, political ethnicity and gender roles. Kamela, experiences her life from a cinematically romantic perspective combined with an insatiable appetite for the world, love and sweets. 

In the end, you depart from the novel in tears as you come to recognize -by living the texture of the history, page by page,- the complexity of the relationship between the writer and the characters. At the same time, I feel at ease, as I am sure others would, by the fact that we all share the same idiocentricities in this serious world, that the possibility of rebellion from social norms is a legacy only tarnished by fools and that the child in every one of us, according to Hanan, will never die.  


*Link to a great review in Arabic.

thoughts around death

Yesterday, and upon finishing Hanan il-Sheikh's book "حكايتي شرح يطول", I realized that the reason I do not work to spend time with my parents, is my fear of loving and depending on them too much. This fear is hinged on the certainty of death. 

On the other hand, I never hesitate in sharing my life and extending my love to my consecutive partners. I think the trust is hinged on my naïveté about how death works.